How Can I tell you what I am
I am an ocean and this is but a drop.
But if I must then I will say this
Though I am but of 23
I have lived many a life time.
I have seen more than most men will ever
some good some bad...... some very Good some very Bad
For many years I was adrift and floating
with no purpose no aim
But with one very certain rendezvous
those days are long gone now
I know now what I must
I know now my destiny
I know now why it happened
My past is behind me and my future ahead
I follow the path he has laid before me
I know not where it leads or even if it is mine
But I know that I must and
I promise Up On Him,
That Come Heaven or Hell
I will Do That which I must
Friday, October 12, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Tagged For The First Time
Hmmm My most difficult blog yet....Nasia you have given me a very difficult job to do. saying thanks I wrote in that comment that this was going to be a rather short list and also a some what diffirrent list than yours(for details refer Tagged With Gratitude By Nasia)
To Begin With I have to start with
1.God,
He/She has been my truest Friend and guide in this rather difficult journey that I call Life. There have been times when I have wondered what my life would be without his blessing. He/She has been my courage and my strength. In my deepest hours of despair I have always found Him/Her and I believe that it was his voice that guided me through those times. At this juncture I feel compelled to say that My God is mine alone that is to say that I believe it certain aspects of many religions, Though I am proud to be a Hindu mostly because I believe that more aspects of it hold true when compared to other religions but on the whole I do not believe in any religion as they exist currently or in other words my god is my own. Now what exactly are my believes will be the topic for many blog to come but as of now let me continue with my thanking duties.
My Friends,
2.Rahul.R.Kaimal,Vinod.B,Kaashif.M.Ahmed:
I thank them very simple reason that they put up with me for a very long time and listened to my rambling(Usually about the same topic) for years and years with a degree of patience that is in a league of its own.
3.Shamjith Nair, Sachin S:
I Thank you guys for standing by me through many difficult times when many others left. I also thank you guys for seeing the better parts of me when even I had difficulty seeing them. Thank you.
4. Kutty(Reshmi Devan) My one and only sister:
For being there for me when I was almost completely lost and for sticking with me even when I tried my level best to push her away.
5.Nasia:
For introducing me to the world of blogging.
6.To All Women Who came into my life:
From you I have learned a lot,without you I would not be the Man I am today.
Now Some non personal references:
7.I thank all those faceless nameless Men and Women who fought and died so that I could have my freedom. I salute you and your many sacrifices.
8.To Mahatma Gandhi:
For being my one true guide all these years, Whenever I have doubted my path I have looked to your words for inspiration.
Once again Thank you to everyone for everything.
To Begin With I have to start with
1.God,
He/She has been my truest Friend and guide in this rather difficult journey that I call Life. There have been times when I have wondered what my life would be without his blessing. He/She has been my courage and my strength. In my deepest hours of despair I have always found Him/Her and I believe that it was his voice that guided me through those times. At this juncture I feel compelled to say that My God is mine alone that is to say that I believe it certain aspects of many religions, Though I am proud to be a Hindu mostly because I believe that more aspects of it hold true when compared to other religions but on the whole I do not believe in any religion as they exist currently or in other words my god is my own. Now what exactly are my believes will be the topic for many blog to come but as of now let me continue with my thanking duties.
My Friends,
2.Rahul.R.Kaimal,Vinod.B,Kaashif.M.Ahmed:
I thank them very simple reason that they put up with me for a very long time and listened to my rambling(Usually about the same topic) for years and years with a degree of patience that is in a league of its own.
3.Shamjith Nair, Sachin S:
I Thank you guys for standing by me through many difficult times when many others left. I also thank you guys for seeing the better parts of me when even I had difficulty seeing them. Thank you.
4. Kutty(Reshmi Devan) My one and only sister:
For being there for me when I was almost completely lost and for sticking with me even when I tried my level best to push her away.
5.Nasia:
For introducing me to the world of blogging.
6.To All Women Who came into my life:
From you I have learned a lot,without you I would not be the Man I am today.
Now Some non personal references:
7.I thank all those faceless nameless Men and Women who fought and died so that I could have my freedom. I salute you and your many sacrifices.
8.To Mahatma Gandhi:
For being my one true guide all these years, Whenever I have doubted my path I have looked to your words for inspiration.
Once again Thank you to everyone for everything.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
To Sir, with Love
This blog is in response delivered by Deepak sir at farewell function 2003-2007 EC batch and his consequent blog I was writing this as a comment but it got too large so I transfered it here.
Hello Sir this R.Parasuram hope you remember me,
Good speech sir it is inspiring to see a person in a position of authority to go against what is socially acceptable and as someone who makes it a rule to flout what the norms of society it warms my heart to see someone share my views but my experiences in this regard compel me to shine a light on the other more dark, less talked about yet more relevant aspects of the said topic.
Following your dreams as romantic and wonderful a notion as it sounds it is not as rewarding as one might imagine it to be,
First politics, As someone who has gone down that rabbit hole for quite a few miles I must say I would not wish it on my worst enemy( or may be I would but thats different topic) there is no bigger a lair of villainy and treachery than it, And no matter how clean u are no matter how well intentioned how non corrupt no matter how many good deeds u do however high your ideals are u will always be a 'Politician' which as far as the 90% of the human race is concerned is lowest form of life on this planet. I have seen horrendous acts committed in the name of politics it is sad thing that those who control our fate are rarely even worthy of being allowed to wander in the open. Most politicians start out as idealistic youngsters hell bent on fighting the system and before they know it they become the embodiment of everything they set out to destroy. As someone once said you dance with devil the devil does not change the devil changes you and thats all I have to say about that.
Now for a business well there is the obvious question success or failure so you tell your u will start it when u have enough money but after 2 years have gone by you contemplate the decision again but then there are new issues to consider what do u know there is house mortgage.... u have get married.....how can I live without a salary.....I am up for a promotion yada yada yada u wake up one day your 40 and your kids are going to college.
Teaching yes teaching is a viable option safer than the rest yet rewarding well at least as long u don't have students who find it hard to think and write at the same time
(for meaning refer deepak sirs blogs). Teaching also is a safe job for a politician a job u can hold down while you pursue other options. Once long back it was suggested to me by a senior politician that I become a teacher so that I can continue as an active party functionary and serve the party( for those who don't Me I am a congress Man through and through).
I think I have written too much sir forgive me for my cynicism sir but I have seen quite a few people in my life a number well into 1000s and of all those people maybe a handful went on to follow their dreams most just did what was expected of them or worse what they were told to do. And what is infinitely worse than all that is the people and when I say people I mean our society Indian society at large and Keralites in particular look down on anything that is not congruent with the societies expectation...if you not blend into the crowd....if you follow your dreams...all you get is people looking down...they wont help you thats for sure but what is infinitely worse every human being you meet will try to dissuade you tell you how wonderful it is to get a job get married(when they say they mean arranged marriage), produce kids and slowly slip away into that glorious sunset that is death.....
What do they know of Dreams this world was not shaped by Men who sat in their arm chairs smoking and eating and fornicating it was made by those who dared to dream to dared to sacrifice their all for their believes....Let Great Men be your guides but know this
One last words of warning do not follow this path dreaming of riches and glory expecting the world to fall at your feet and kiss them because the best you can expect from them is a disapproving glare but if your insides burn with the desire to reach for the stars to make a difference if you cannot bear to be one among billions then throws away the chains that by bind you and follow those dreams
Hello Sir this R.Parasuram hope you remember me,
Good speech sir it is inspiring to see a person in a position of authority to go against what is socially acceptable and as someone who makes it a rule to flout what the norms of society it warms my heart to see someone share my views but my experiences in this regard compel me to shine a light on the other more dark, less talked about yet more relevant aspects of the said topic.
Following your dreams as romantic and wonderful a notion as it sounds it is not as rewarding as one might imagine it to be,
First politics, As someone who has gone down that rabbit hole for quite a few miles I must say I would not wish it on my worst enemy( or may be I would but thats different topic) there is no bigger a lair of villainy and treachery than it, And no matter how clean u are no matter how well intentioned how non corrupt no matter how many good deeds u do however high your ideals are u will always be a 'Politician' which as far as the 90% of the human race is concerned is lowest form of life on this planet. I have seen horrendous acts committed in the name of politics it is sad thing that those who control our fate are rarely even worthy of being allowed to wander in the open. Most politicians start out as idealistic youngsters hell bent on fighting the system and before they know it they become the embodiment of everything they set out to destroy. As someone once said you dance with devil the devil does not change the devil changes you and thats all I have to say about that.
Now for a business well there is the obvious question success or failure so you tell your u will start it when u have enough money but after 2 years have gone by you contemplate the decision again but then there are new issues to consider what do u know there is house mortgage.... u have get married.....how can I live without a salary.....I am up for a promotion yada yada yada u wake up one day your 40 and your kids are going to college.
Teaching yes teaching is a viable option safer than the rest yet rewarding well at least as long u don't have students who find it hard to think and write at the same time
(for meaning refer deepak sirs blogs). Teaching also is a safe job for a politician a job u can hold down while you pursue other options. Once long back it was suggested to me by a senior politician that I become a teacher so that I can continue as an active party functionary and serve the party( for those who don't Me I am a congress Man through and through).
I think I have written too much sir forgive me for my cynicism sir but I have seen quite a few people in my life a number well into 1000s and of all those people maybe a handful went on to follow their dreams most just did what was expected of them or worse what they were told to do. And what is infinitely worse than all that is the people and when I say people I mean our society Indian society at large and Keralites in particular look down on anything that is not congruent with the societies expectation...if you not blend into the crowd....if you follow your dreams...all you get is people looking down...they wont help you thats for sure but what is infinitely worse every human being you meet will try to dissuade you tell you how wonderful it is to get a job get married(when they say they mean arranged marriage), produce kids and slowly slip away into that glorious sunset that is death.....
What do they know of Dreams this world was not shaped by Men who sat in their arm chairs smoking and eating and fornicating it was made by those who dared to dream to dared to sacrifice their all for their believes....Let Great Men be your guides but know this
One last words of warning do not follow this path dreaming of riches and glory expecting the world to fall at your feet and kiss them because the best you can expect from them is a disapproving glare but if your insides burn with the desire to reach for the stars to make a difference if you cannot bear to be one among billions then throws away the chains that by bind you and follow those dreams
Friday, July 13, 2007
Of Life,Love and Growing Up Part 1
Chapter 1: A Preview
Hmmm....My First Blog, I think I will give you a treat a sneak peak into a the life of a boy I once knew.Lets you and me take this journey together....
We catch up with our protagonist at his house he is in his bathroom slumped on the floor there is blood everywhere.He has cut himself for the third time in as many days....his mother is calling for him aren't you coming to eat, He knows he has to go down or someone is going to come looking for him any minute now but he cant think straight the smell of blood is nauseating. He gets up....he is weak he has been starving himself for three days now. He gets out of bathroom into his locked room he holds a kerchief over his wound and presses down on it to stop the bleeding so that they wont see but there has been too much blood loss...The pain is overwhelming him....He tells himself he has to hold on they cant see....He blacks out and falls to the ground unconscious
He wakes up he is at his school, Its that day its December 13th...Lunch is almost over, His friends are telling him that the girls who he has secretly loved for the past two years is in love with someone else, His insides are on fire yet He says nothing he pretends he hardly heard it. The rest of day he is barely aware of what is going on around him finally he reaches home he cant take it anymore he has to know the truth so he calls her confesses his love and asks that dreaded question yes or no......The answer comes softly its yes she has said yes, its the happiest day of his life,Suddenly it goes black again....
She is telling him to open his eyes...He is sitting on her Bed Its a December again one year has gone by since that 13th. There is a card in his hand she is asking him to read it and as he opens the card she climbs on to bed and hugs him tightly from behind there is love in that room true love....he nussles his head nearer to hers, he can feel her breath on his skin all he can think is how beautiful she is....He starts to read "To My dearest Sam" He is confused he asks "who is Sam"....She answers "its you silly". He thinks to himself my name but my name is...It dawns on him for a few seconds he had actually forgotten his name. He thinks to himself I wish I could spend my whole life wrapped up in her arms. He closes his eyes taking in the warmth of her body....Then Suddenly Someone is knocking at the door.....
He opens his eyes,he is back on the floor of his room the he is still alive....He has no idea how long he was out but somehow he feels a bit better as though someone had just comforted him ...His mother shouts from behind the door...Get up and come eat I have to wash the dishes.
Thats enough of a teaser for today I think...To Find what happens to our little boy come again and I promise I will tell you just remember all good things come to those who wait.This is a very long story with many morals but for today no sermons just the truth and a cold hard realization that there is a lot of pain in this world.
This is Me Manu/Parasuram signing off see you later.
Thanks you for reading and Your comments are eagerly awaited
bye
Hmmm....My First Blog, I think I will give you a treat a sneak peak into a the life of a boy I once knew.Lets you and me take this journey together....
We catch up with our protagonist at his house he is in his bathroom slumped on the floor there is blood everywhere.He has cut himself for the third time in as many days....his mother is calling for him aren't you coming to eat, He knows he has to go down or someone is going to come looking for him any minute now but he cant think straight the smell of blood is nauseating. He gets up....he is weak he has been starving himself for three days now. He gets out of bathroom into his locked room he holds a kerchief over his wound and presses down on it to stop the bleeding so that they wont see but there has been too much blood loss...The pain is overwhelming him....He tells himself he has to hold on they cant see....He blacks out and falls to the ground unconscious
He wakes up he is at his school, Its that day its December 13th...Lunch is almost over, His friends are telling him that the girls who he has secretly loved for the past two years is in love with someone else, His insides are on fire yet He says nothing he pretends he hardly heard it. The rest of day he is barely aware of what is going on around him finally he reaches home he cant take it anymore he has to know the truth so he calls her confesses his love and asks that dreaded question yes or no......The answer comes softly its yes she has said yes, its the happiest day of his life,Suddenly it goes black again....
She is telling him to open his eyes...He is sitting on her Bed Its a December again one year has gone by since that 13th. There is a card in his hand she is asking him to read it and as he opens the card she climbs on to bed and hugs him tightly from behind there is love in that room true love....he nussles his head nearer to hers, he can feel her breath on his skin all he can think is how beautiful she is....He starts to read "To My dearest Sam" He is confused he asks "who is Sam"....She answers "its you silly". He thinks to himself my name but my name is...It dawns on him for a few seconds he had actually forgotten his name. He thinks to himself I wish I could spend my whole life wrapped up in her arms. He closes his eyes taking in the warmth of her body....Then Suddenly Someone is knocking at the door.....
He opens his eyes,he is back on the floor of his room the he is still alive....He has no idea how long he was out but somehow he feels a bit better as though someone had just comforted him ...His mother shouts from behind the door...Get up and come eat I have to wash the dishes.
Thats enough of a teaser for today I think...To Find what happens to our little boy come again and I promise I will tell you just remember all good things come to those who wait.This is a very long story with many morals but for today no sermons just the truth and a cold hard realization that there is a lot of pain in this world.
This is Me Manu/Parasuram signing off see you later.
Thanks you for reading and Your comments are eagerly awaited
bye
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